i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this boner is exhausting
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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