Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
