K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
