thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
