I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
