I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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