My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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