Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
