im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
