When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
