do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
