therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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