She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
3 2 1 whiskey
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
