Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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