the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so let's talk penis.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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