I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
