glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How does one acquire holy water?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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