I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
