I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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