how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
