i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
