My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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