the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
