:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
