I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
