can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
