I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
