I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
