dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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