Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
