I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
