He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
