bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
