dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
