hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
how does that bad decision feel?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
