he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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