You can't motorboat a personality
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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