One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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