it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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