Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
