I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
