umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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