your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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