Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
