So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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