btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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