google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I love having hate sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
