He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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