i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
