My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
