I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
